Shabbat is at an end (sigh), and I do feel better about the lab. I even think I am looking forward to it, despite the commute (and the car I have to make it in!). It is nice to have the pressure off, though, to sell the house and find a new one all at once. I suppose we will have to face the pressure of moving and buying a new place when we leave here, but that is in the future, at least two years, so I can put it aside for now. I am looking forward to my last week of freedom before beginning at the lab, and I will use it to scrape ceilings and putter about the yard, and make one last good Shabbat dinner. I see many roast chickens from the kosher cafe gracing our shabbat tables -- but maybe not. We had decent Shabbats when I was at the magazine, even though my hours were insane there. I will also have to reset my appointments with the doc. And I have to look and see when my next one is with the MD, because I think that one was during the day, too, and too far away for a quick run out at lunch or something. Man, I cannot believe I will be commuting so far. Well, the good news is, it is only a two year contract. We could move by then, so why get excited. Two years will go by in a flash.

So today I went all the way out to the lab for a 15-minute session so I could sign the crappy deal they offered me. Man, I feel cheap. We shall see how it goes. I am pretty ticked off, and don't feel much like writing. But it is Shabbat tonight, and I will put forth a real effort to relax and enjoy the weekend and next week. I have one more week before I start, and I will enjoy it!

Guess what? I still feel bummed, but I got the job. Gah. I am really worried about taking it, because it will mean coming home late a lot and working really hard and not having time for the family much. I guess in some way I was hoping for the upheval of moving and changing our lives, looking forward to spending summer with the girls in Florida and California, spending time working on me, and on us. Maybe even going back to school. Now I just feel flat. I am not sure what to think. I am disappointed by the money, it is not paying as much as I would've liked, and they will not budge on the offer. SIgh. What choice do I have, though? It is this or a call center. What a shame, I keep thinking, for me and the girls, that I have to sell time with them for money.

Man, I really feel down today. I have been waiting for a call back from the lab, and I am totally bummed that I have not yet heard anything. On top of that, I have really started to work around this house, and now I feel really awful about leaving it. On the bright side, I think there is going to be some kind of resolution soon about IIW, and instead of feeling upset, I am actually looking forward to getting to the end of things. Even though I feel down, I do not feel paralized by the feeling. In a weird way, I feel pretty good, because I was able to get up and move out today, instead of feeling useless and unable to cope. Wow. Things are looking up. Also, I am looking forward to having more time for the girls -- I think that is the best of all.

Met with Kim today, but forgot to tell her about the blog. Oh well, maybe next time. I am going to get started on fixing little things inside the house tomorrow, and I am excited about it. Carl's folks left today and I took the girls to see them off at the airport. They loved getting into the plane and sitting at the controls. It is cool when grandpa owns his own airplane. No hassles at the gate, you know. We did not stay to see them take off -- I really wanted to get Lil back to school before she missed the whole day. Lucky for me I got her back just in time for science, where she presented her science fair project and got an O+! My little girl is an absolute wonder. Her digestive system made quite an impression.

I ran all day today, first to drop off the Cav for a detail job, then to take C's folks to the airport, then Lil to school, then Han to school, then me home for a bite to eat, then out again to get a haircut (finally!), then to Kim, then back to school to pick Lil up, then Hannah, then Lil to Karate and Hannah and I to the grocery, then back to get Lil, then, whew, home. So I am pretty pooped. But, if you have to be out running, it might as well be on a beautiful day like today. A perfect day, blue sky, warm sunshine, happy people, and bright spring flowers. Ahhh.

Well, Saturday and Sunday were big days around here, we cleaned like we've never cleaned before and the place looked great when the in-laws arrived. Whew. The girls and I really pulled off a good one. They were great!! What good little helpers (mostly). I have to say, Lil was a real trooper. So far we've had a lovely visit, Carl arrived home safe and sound, and I cannot tell you what a relief it is to have him back with me. I miss him so bad when he is gone. What a wonderful thing it is when he returns. I am exhausted and want to get to sleep now. I have been running nonstop since Friday evening, when I realized what sort of mess my house was in, and how much I needed to work on it. Man, I need some serious rest.