Feeling really bad today. Boss is driving me crazy with this stupid web project. I so don't want to be here today. Ugh. Got projects due for school and I am spending way too much time playing with Dreamweaver and banging my head against a wall. Can't wait for my break. I am very tired of dealing with people. It is exhausting.

Reading Queen Bees and Wanabes, and I have a feeling it is going to be depressing, but I am still looking forward to seeing what the book has to say. Lil woke up with a stomachache again today. I think she keeps her feelings inside and never seems sad or upset. I think that contributes. Well, I will call the doc shortly to see what the nurse has to say about it. Tums seems to work, so we will continue with that, I think, until it stops working for her.

The baby is moving all around in there today. I can really feel it now. This week is 15 weeks, so I still have a while to go. I am alternately excited and worried. We will see what happens as things progress.

The denial on my scholarship request for the spring semester has everyone really bent out of shape, still. I am pretty sad, too, because it seems that if you work for the place you ought to get at the very least whatever courses your family wants to take. Grr.

GRR-- my tuition assistance has been denied!

After all that trouble to get admitted to the damn MA program and now they are denying tuition assistance!! Wow. Poor Carl is really pissed. And I don't blame him one bit. First they take away his travel money so he has to pay out of his own pocket to travel, now this, too? It is amazing. Well, pack your bags, New Zealand here we come. I guess he may seriously start looking for a new job if this is not resolved quickly and in his favor.

In other news, I am feeling ok, though a bit headachy. I actually have been sleeping well the last several nights so that helps. The web pages for SRF are coming along ok, too, and should be done in plenty of time. The only thing I have to worry about is getting my paper done for David's class. It is due next Monday, and I have not yet written page one. Got to have 20 pages by Monday. Whew. Don't know where I will get the time to actually write it, but somehow I will get it done. I have to finish reading Pale Fire as well. All the while I read it, I remember why I never liked Nabokov -- after a while even I get sick of navel gazing, and it just seems to go on and on. Sigh. His ideas are so cool, it is too bad the execution is so... so.... dull. Cannot wait to put American Lit behind me once and for all. Goodbye American dream! Good riddance.

The baby is doing great. The girls are doing great. Carl, besides being pissed, is doing great. Hanukkah has begun and it is wall to wall festivities for the next week or so. I need to call Angelico's to see how much we owe on the cello. Then it is Aunt Syl for the funds so we can afford it. The damn instrument is $950! Sigh.

I had the most horrible dream on Friday night. I dreamed I had a miscarriage and lost the baby. It was so real that it woke me up and the whole next day I was really bothered by it -- my whole mood was affected. I had the dream because I was worried about something the doctor said to me on Thursday about my cervix being inflamed, and how some studies have shown that this can cause premature labor. I was upset because when I got that pap originally, the folks at the Jones said nothing at all about the inflamation. I guess I just worried about it without really thinking about it and out my worries came in this horrific dream. Just the absolute worst. Gah. Anyway, I am feeling much better now because I talked with Elizabeth and she explained what happened and why the pap might show inflamation. I just did not understand what happened or how serious it might be. She reassured me that everything was fine, and she figured it was not serious enough to even mention because inflamation like that can be caused by sex, which made me feel a lot better. Whew. I should not drive myself crazy with this stuff. I am having a good pregancy. The baby is doing great. I am doing great. Just let it go.

Yesterday was a great day. I went to see a talk by the author of Odd Girl Out. and it was great! I have lots to talk to Lil about, but she is still not quite old enough for all this stuff to be a really big deal. But one thing the author said did make me prick up my ears -- she said that if your daughter is always choosing the meanest girl for her friend, that she might benefit from some counseling. Lil is always picking the meanest girl for her best friend. It started first in preschool with Sophia, then Rachel and Dara and Becka in K -- it is like she picks the hardest cases to be friends with. Why? There are so many nice girls in her class, and she has to take up with Dara, who is so mean, I cannot have her over to the house anymore because she creates so much strife. She turns my daughters against each other and everyone is made miserable. Well, I can tell you, this talk was a real eye opener for me.

Winter is approaching fast, Hanukkah just a day away now, and excitement has reached a fever pitch at home. Presents, thankfully, are generally wrapped and ready, and shopping, thank the Lord, is done. I am thinking about Latkes and donuts and Hanukkah gelt, and all the wonderful things that go along with the holiday. Also, just 21 days until the GRE. I had better get with the math!!